Anger management before you get angry:

One of the key approaches in anger management is to control or manage your anger before it takes control of you. In fact, this is perhaps the only effective technique in managing anger. It has been said that prevention is much better than cure. Therefore, control your anger before you do something which cannot be repaired. It consists of two steps:

1. You must understand the underlying reason of the anger. Once you have figured out the root cause, you can easily try to prepare yourself in dealing with it the next time you get angry. You also need to identify your different anger patterns. You may feel angrier towards one person or situation and might react in a different manner. Therefore, you need to spot your weaknesses and keep the solutions and alternatives ready when you get angry the next time.
2. A self structure is necessary which is not conducive to anger or does not cram up the stress. This kind of structure is achieved by practicing some techniques like relaxation and meditation over a period of time. It also helps in building self confidence and courage in the person.

Understanding Anger

Anger is similar to temporary madness. A person does not realize what all he might do or say when faced with such a situation. It is definitely something to be avoided. Whenever something has been done against your expectations, you get angry. It is a normal behavior among people. Generally speaking, a person considers expectations as a shelter, and when someone does not live up to your expectations, he literally breaks your shelter. This can make you feel fearful and insecure. A psychologically weak person is more likely to become angry. Ego is another vice that one needs to be taken control of. You can become seriously angry if your ego gets hurt. Ego is a disease in itself and should be diluted as far as possible. People having inferiority complex or superiority complex are also prone to anger.

How to prevent

Preventing anger is not as difficult as it may sound. However, it is not very easy as well. It takes a lot of perseverance. There are different techniques which can help you in preventing anger from accumulating within you. We have stated some of these techniques below:

• Relaxation techniques always work in high temper situations. Try practicing meditation, relaxation and similar stress removing methods.
• You can improve yourself by developing the mind continuously. If you impose too many rules on yourself concerning anger, try to break them and have an optimistic and positive approach. You will be able to see the world differently and instead of cursing people or things, you will look for solutions.
• Do not think too much about whatever has happened to you in the past, or what is likely to happen to you in the future. Live in the present and think about the issues at hand, how to face them and cope up with them.
• Improve your self confidence. Try to build a better mindset and improve your views about yourself. Pat yourself on the back when you have done something challenging, and keep telling yourself that there is nothing others can do and you cannot. If you are suffering from low self esteem or inferiority complex, you need to build more confidence in your ability. You probably give yourself less credit than what you give yourself credit for. If you are having superiority complex, then you need to consider yourself as a part of the crowd and think high of others. When such people find out about someone who performs better than them, they tend to lose their patience. Therefore, what you think about yourself and how well you rate yourself is a deciding factor in managing your anger.
• Try to accept yourself and the people around you the way they are. Do not think that by changing yourself, you will be able to think high of yourself. In fact, the more you change, the more dissatisfied you become which can lead to frustrations. Once you have accepted your negative qualities and the people around you, there will not be any internal conflict and you will be much happier and contented.
• Believe in love. Love yourself and others around you. Do not develop the feelings of hatred or spite for others or for yourself as this will only lead to further disappointments and negative thoughts. You need to learn how to forgive others because if you learn to do so, then you will be able to love others as well.
• Whenever you feel like lashing out at others, try to take a time out. Do things that keep you busy and take your mind off the frustration. Some of these things might seem like childish and even cliché, like counting till hundred or solving newspaper puzzles, but these are very effective in diffusing your anger and keeping your mind occupied. This is a very elementary method to control your emotions. Of course this will seem a little difficult at first but with time you will realize how well you are able to control your frustrations.
• There are two sides to a coin. There is something good as well as bad in everyone. Black and white, good and bad, yin and yang, David and goliath, these all are always together, no matter how much opposite they are. In fact, a little of both is required for survival. No good can be achieved if there was not anything bad happening. Do not get upset when people say or do some bad things, think about the good qualities that the person possesses.
• Do not develop any feelings of hatred and revenge in yourself as this will only lead to negative thinking and low self esteem. Take people as they are and be forgiving. Do not seek revenge from them or you will end up hurting people more than you intended to, along with the guilt of doing something bad to that person.
• There is nothing that is perfect. So do not try to be a perfectionist. Instead, try to accept the mistakes and inabilities of yourself and of other people. The inability to cope with failure leads only to tension and anger which is undesirable.